The Admiral and the Ambassador
by BOC42
Summary: A series of strictly happy vignettes from the post-Voyager life of Janeway and Chakotay. Much fluff, much sap, and hopefully, much fun.
1. The Admiral

Author's Manifesto: I am a firm believer in the fact that JC is not all about sex and angst, but about the fact that they are best friends and make each other incredibly happy (and they are head over heels for each other!). In keeping with this belief, I have one goal with this story: to let Janeway and Chakotay just be HAPPY! This will be a happy story. It picks up at the end of Christie Golden's _Enemy of my Enemy_ series, and blithely ignores all Kristen Beyer.

All rights to Paramount and Christie Golden

=/\=

"_If you lose the ability to act when you feel, you will lose the ability to do both."_ -C.S. Lewis

Kathryn Janeway couldn't actually remember the last time a man had turned her into a hopeless puddle of goo. Typically, she was the one turning the man into a stuttering idiot. Not because she was incredibly attractive or anything like that, but because she had a commanding presence and could quietly manipulate. As a woman, these were not always the best traits to have, but they were essential qualities as a captain, and she had capitalized on them. In situations like that, she was definitely the one in the control, and she usually got exactly what she wanted. Or rather, what she needed. Dilithium. Computer components. Replicator rations.

Replicator rations. Enter the man who was effortlessly turning the tables on her. She _knew _something was up, because it wasn't relief or exasperation flooding through her veins as she stood with three other admirals, waiting for _Voyager's _new captain to beam into Starfleet Headquarters. It was anticipation, excitement, and unmistakable dread. It was as bad as being a teenager again.

She remembered the dizzying sensation that had grasped her when, before _Voyager _had departed, he had easily embraced her and kissed her cheek. In front of everyone. She was fairly certain she had done a good job of not swooning on the spot, but he might have noticed the surprise in her eyes. He hadn't said anything about it, though. And then he was gone. And then he was missing. Being impersonated. And then she had known nothing but worry and fear for his life. Even as she had sent Tom Paris after her missing friend, she had dreaded what he would discover.

_Please don't be dead, Chakotay. I think I would know if you were dead._

She had thought these words repeatedly as she had sat, trapped and helpless, at that damned conference. At least, she had mused when Tom had hurried away on his mission, at least Chakotay and she had parted on good terms. They hadn't been fighting, or sending each other into impossible danger.

Standing slightly behind Owen Paris, Janeway swallowed the painful lump in her throat.

The subspace transmission from Tom and Harry: Captain Chakotay and Spiritual Adviser Sekaya successfully rescued. Sekaya sustained injuries and has been successfully treated. Changeling escaped. En route to earth.

Alive. Alive, alive, alive. And, she reminded herself very sternly, she was _not _going to throw herself at him.

There was a shimmer in the air on the transporter pad, and Janeway felt her body tense. Smoothly, the shimmer assembled itself into the shapes of Chakotay, Tom Paris, and Jarem Kaz.

Breathe, Kathryn. Teeth clenched. _"You've got to breathe, Kathryn!"_

Okay. Too close. Inhale and exhale. Does that work better?

And then he was stepping off the transporter pad, extending his hand to Admiral Montgomery, and Montgomery was in charge, and they were all turning and following him out of the transporter room towards a conference room. Janeway stared at his broad shoulders as she and a confused-looking Tom Paris brought up the rear of the procession. She stared and willed the color of the uniform to change from gray to black with a bold red. The uniform that they both wore – that visually pulled them together.

They entered the conference room and Owen gently nudged her toward a chair and she dumbly sat in it, grim command mask firmly in place. It was the only thing that was going to get her through this debriefing without betraying every last heightened emotion that was surging through her small body. She stared at the table. In the corner of her eye, she saw Tom and Kaz take seats across the table from her, glancing at each other. Tom knew her too well not know something was amiss.

And if he knew, then –

Chakotay passed behind her, and without any pause to draw attention, drew a finger gently across her shoulders.

She knew he felt the involuntary shudder that ran down her spine at his touch.

And then he was sitting, calmly, several seats away from her, and Owen, Montgomery, and Kapewalu were starting to go over the report he had sent ahead. She hadn't read it. She was only here because Owen and walked past her office forty minutes ago. She had been stewing, trying to focus on reports and conference reviews and hitting her head against the proverbial bulkhead. It was several seconds before she had sensed a presence in the open doorway, and she had glanced up to see Owen Paris watching her. Again, she had hoped her face had not betrayed too much, but Owen had known her for a long time, and she had learned that control and mask from him. He knew how to read its nuances, and he knew what being chained to a desk instead of a command chair in a crisis felt like.

_"Kathryn, come with me."_

_ "I'm busy, Owen."_

_ "I know. Come with me."_

She tried to breathe evenly and focus on Chakotay's voice as the admirals asked him if he would care to elaborate on his experience under the influence of Sky Spirit DNA.

"No I wouldn't, actually."

"Oh?" Montgomery's voice cooled.

But, curse that noble placidity… "I believe that what I included in the formal report is more than sufficient. It gives you all the data that is applicable to finding the Changeling, and information about the colonists. Beyond that, it was a – spiritual – experience."

Janeway felt herself unable to clamp down on the smile that was finding her lips. That argument would work on her. On a review board of full admirals…

"Spiritual?" Skeptical this time.

Chakotay shrugged easily. "Personal, then."

Mongtomery let out a breath that could have been a sigh, and glanced at Paris and Kapewalu. "Well?"

"Leave it," Owen said calmly. "I think Captain Chakotay is perfectly capable of understanding the line between personal experiences and duty."

The conversation moved on, with Janeway trailing one step behind it. As per usual, Chakotay acquitted himself with all the tact and control that she knew he possessed. She flushed with pride. Not just with pride in a fellow officer or even friend who had done a good job. With pride that someone so extraordinary had chosen to be her friend.

"I want to take Captain Chakotay to the sickbay here and run a few more tests, admirals." Kaz was talking now as the meeting wrapped up. "I know I pronounced him physically and mentally fit for duty, but I'd also like a second opinion if I may."

Chakotay nodded to Kaz as the admirals gave their consent and dismissed the meeting.

"Admiral Janeway, if you would accompany us?" Kaz fixed his eyes on her and she startled back into the present. "If anyone here can vouch for the captain's identity and mental state, it's you."

"Of course," she managed, rising from her chair.

In a dazed few moments, she struggled to maintain her composure as everyone filed out of the room. She did register that Owen clapped his hand on Tom's shoulder and steered him down the corridor towards the mess hall.

_His_ hand – unmistakably his hand – on her back surprised her, and she fell into step with him and Kaz on the way to the turbolift.

"Sickbay is on the fourth level," Kaz said kindly, standing aside for her and Chakotay to enter the lift first.

He didn't follow them in. "I'll catch the next one," Kaz told them with a grin, and pressed the control for the doors to close. Janeway could have sworn he winked.

"Level four," Chakotay ordered. "You're quiet," he said softly.

His fingers tangled into hers.

Like being shocked by an overloaded power relay, Janeway responded involuntarily, grabbing desperately at his hand.

"Halt turbolift," he said, and the lift slid to a quiet halt.

And then he had her wrapped into a tight embrace, one hand cradling her head, fingers twisted into her hair, and the other pressing into her back.

"Chakotay," she rasped in a muffled voice, blindly pressing herself into his arms harder and trying to tamp down on the butterflies in her stomach.

They stood together, holding one another, and Janeway's mind slowly eased itself back into a state of coherence.

"You're alive," she whispered into his shoulder. "I was so worried…I…I'd like to think I would have know somehow if…"

He shifted so he looking down into her upturned face. "You _would _know, Kathryn." He was serious, but also, inexplicably, lighthearted about his comment.

"I'd like to think so," she said again, feeling her legs threaten to turn to jelly. Her proximity alert was going crazy: the one that applied to attractive men, not the one that warned of drunken alien diplomats.

He was cradling her face in his hands. "I want to talk to you later, Kathryn. I wasn't about to tell any of those admirals about what happened to Sekaya and me, but I want to tell you. I need to tell you."

Her heart thudded around erratically for a moment before remembering it was supposed to beat predictably. "Okay."

He smiled gently. "Can we have dinner?"

She nodded. "My place or yours?" It was a question they had both asked each other dozens of times.

"Yours. Fewer prying eyes."

The jelly-leg intensified. "Prying eyes, Chakotay?"

He shrugged, moving his hands to hers. "What was it you said once about writing your log on parchment in the Da Vinci simulation? That you wanted to get as far away from Borg cubes and spatial anomalies as possible?"

"I remember that."

"I need to be away from all of that for a few hours."

"Well, you know where I live."

He squeezed her hands. "And I remember that there is an excellent deli down the street. I'll pick up sandwiches on my way. Do you want the usual?"

She nearly collapsed as she remembered that below these distractingly strong emotions, they had known each other this well for years. "Yes."

He nodded. "Are you okay?"

She struggled for a few seconds before finding an honest answer. "I think I will be."

His hand brushing her cheek. "Resume turbolift."

=/\=

The chime at her front door set her startled her badly. Taking deep breaths, Janeway opened the door. The sight of Chakotay standing on her porch with a bag full of sandwiches and a knowing grin, however, sent a flood of pure joy through her and she broke into a smile. She ushered him in.

"Come in, Chakotay. I've made coffee."

He stepped past her into the living room and made his way into the kitchen as if he did it every day of his life. "It smells amazing."

"The smell of coffee is _almost _as good as drinking it. And those sandwiches smell pretty incredible, too."

She joined him in the kitchen, pulling plates from a cupboard.

"I may have cheated and also brought cookies," he admitted, removing sandwiches in butcher paper and a small sack of cookies.

"Oh, that's definitely cheating," Janeway answered, snatching the sack and helping herself to a cookie. They were chocolate chip.

"Hey, you haven't eaten dinner yet," Chakotay laughed, moving towards her.

"You're not my mother," Janeway teased, backing away.

He pinned her against the refrigeration unit. "She wouldn't approve either."

Impulsively, Janeway broke the soft cookie and forced a piece of it into his mouth. "Nope," she laughed and wormed past him, stuffing the rest of the cookie into her mouth.

To her surprise, he grabbed her around the waist and hoisted her into the air and carried her over to the couch and dropped her on it. Janeway scrambled onto her knees and their eyes met. "I swear, if you try to tickle me…"

"You'll what?" He cut in playfully, "report me?" His hands found her ribs and she tried to slither away from him even as she laughed, delighted at the attention.

A pillow found its way into her hand and she let loose with it, smacking Chakotay in the face until he stopped and she found herself suddenly assailed by another couch cushion. Abandoning all pretense of being Starfleet officers, or even adults, Janeway and Chakotay barraged each other with pillows, darting around and over furniture as they indulged in a full-on pillow fight. Several padds clattered to the floor, the rug turned into a rippled pond, and wooden bookend found it's way under the coffee table.

And then Janeway found herself breathless, and Chakotay was throwing her reading blanket over her head and pulling her back into him. He promptly picked her up and again dropped her onto the disheveled couch, pinning her there.

"Do you give up?" he asked, tickling her.

"Yes! You're going to suffocate me," Janeway gasped from beneath the blanket.

A moment later it was torn away, and she breathed in fresh air and Chakotay's own scent as he looked at her. "Nah, I wouldn't _suffocate_ you," he said, winking.

Janeway chuckled and shoved him playfully in the chest. "That's reassuring." She sat up and laughed outright, looking around at the untidy living room. "I haven't had a pillow fight in ages."

Chakotay leaned back into the cushions comfortably. "Something tells me you always beat your sister."

Janeway raised an eyebrow, remembering the many pillow fights she and Pheobe had had. Those had not generally started or ended in a friendly manner, but she had tended to win. "And something tells me you always beat Sekaya."

Chakotay looked at her and grinned. "We didn't have pillow fights. But I did like to toss her in the lake."

Her grin met his and burst into a full smile. "Remind me not to go anywhere near a lake with you."

"I won't throw you into any lakes until I know how well you swim," he said, rising from the couch. He wandered into the kitchen.

"You know how well I swim," she reminded him, thinking of the river on New Earth.

"Is that an invitation to throw you in a lake?" he asked, returning with their dinner.

"No. But I could get used to getting waited on," Janeway teased, leaning forward to pick up the salami sandwich on her plate.

"As long as I don't have to wear a tuxedo," Chakotay said.

"I'll let it slide."

They lapsed into a comfortable silence as they ate. Twenty minutes later the sandwiches were gone and so were all the cookies. Chakotay was leaned back on the sofa, and Janeway was resting her boot on his knee.

Chakotay looked over at her lazily. "Spirits, how I've missed you, Kathryn."

She smiled at him and reached for his hand. "Mutual. Especially when I didn't know if you were dead or alive." She squeezed. "I can genuinely say I have _never _been happier to see you than I was this afternoon."

He tugged on her hand and pulled her closer to him, draping his arm around her shoulders. "You looked…I don't know, actually," he confessed. "I was worried about you this afternoon. You're normally so in control. You looked like you'd just found out that the Federation had decided to dissolve and let the Borg take over." He shook his head. "I take that back. If that was the case you'd have been carrying a phaser rifle."

She smiled and leaned into his shoulder. "To tell you the truth, I was trying very hard not to throw myself at you to make sure you were really alive."

His head bent protectively over hers. "I'm alive."

"It's a lot harder being behind a desk when my family is in trouble than it was being the captain – even if things looked hopeless. I could always _do _something then. At headquarters I'm not even supposed to acknowledge anything is happening."

His head shook slightly. "Don't let Starfleet take that away from you, Kathryn."

She snorted. "I worried plenty, they can't stop me from worrying."

His fingers slipped through her hair and she felt her scalp tingle. "No, I mean that you spent seven years without a day off, never letting that mask of control slip. I don't think it was healthy for you. Don't bring that to work with you, okay? You're a human being and you are definitely allowed to have emotions. I don't think anyone could think less of you for them."

As always, his advice hit home. He was right. She was entitled to her emotions. "What have I done without you, commander?" she joked. Sobering, she admitted quietly, "I'm just not sure I _can _feel anymore, you know? Even if I wanted to feel something, could I? And if I can't even feel, how am I supposed to _show _how I feel?"

They were talking in meta-circles now, something they were inherently skillful at.

His hand kept passing through her hair, soothing. "You feel, Kathryn. Those of us lucky to know you well can see that."

"I try not to let anyone see. How can you always tell, anyway?"

He chuckled. "You're just as expressive as B'Elanna or Harry, you just show it differently. It's not all on your face – it's in your shoulders and your hands. In your eyes. You get tense and go stiff. If you're angry, you sort of snap your fingers. And I can't describe how I can read your eyes, but somewhere along the line I learned to."

"Mmm. I'll have to work on not feeling guilty anytime I feel something unprofessional."

"Like what?"

She shrugged lightly. "Annoyance? Irritation?"

Chakotay sighed. "How about concern or affection?"

"Those might be _really _hard."

"Probably. You'll get there."

The lapsed into silence again, with Chakotay gently twisting her hair through his fingers. Janeway resolved to simply enjoy his affection for a moment before changing the subject. After a few moments, she looked up at him. "I'm sorry, you said you needed to talk. I've only been talking about me, I'm afraid. Will you tell me about what happened?"

He nodded slowly, his eyes looking into the distance. He took a breath. "I went on a spirit walk with Sekaya. That's not something that our people have ever tried before, but it worked."

"Incredible. She was there, with you?"

"Yes. I saw her and talked with her. And we saw each other's spirit guides. There have only been a handful of reported instances where someone has seen another's spirit guide. It was very…humbling." He paused for a moment, contemplating their joined hands. "I've never considered myself to be very strong, spiritually. I've always felt like I did it the wrong way around, rejecting my father's beliefs as a child and then coming to them later as an adult, but for all the wrong reasons. I wanted to honor my father because I loved him. I didn't yet respect him or really believe that spirits or the spirit world was real. When I found out that it was – and came to believe that it wasn't just some kind of altered mental state that I could explain away – it was far too late for me to ask for forgiveness or guidance from my father. So now, even though my faith is real to me and comforts me, I feel small and naïve inside of it."

Janeway gently squeezed his hand. To her, he was a giant. But he wasn't looking for reassurance; he needed to tell her something.

"During this spirit walk, I felt myself growing bigger than I believed was even possible. I didn't know that any being was capable of interacting on such a level. I didn't just walk with my spirit guide, I went on a journey and met other spirits. Strong ones that only come to people under hard circumstances or who warn people of danger and hardships. I was very, very humbled.

"And then I realized that I wasn't tied to the spirit world that I was used to. I could go anywhere. I met another guide who told me I had been obedient so far, but that I should try to…test my abilities. He said I could do anything I wanted. I knew exactly what I wanted, Kathryn." Chakotay pulled her closer and touched her cheek.

"I went to you. I wanted to let you know somehow that I was all right. And I was astonished when I found you."

Janeway felt tears well up in her eyes. "You came to me?" she whispered hoarsely.

"Out of everyone in the universe, I wanted you," he smiled. Janeway felt warmth rippling through her body.

"And there you were," he continued. "I _know _you feel, Kathryn, because for the few moments I was with you I was nearly overpowered by the emotions you were feeling. You were angry because you couldn't do anything to help us. Frustrated that you were stuck at that damn conference. You were worried about me."

Tears leaked quietly through Janeway's lashes as Chakotay's voice dropped and he stared hard into her eyes.

"And there was so much love, Kathryn," he said thickly. "You think you can't feel, but I know you feel more than you could possibly understand. The amount of affection and devotion you have inside you is staggering. You've got so much pure sincerity inside of you that the powers that be can't help but stop and look at you. I know."

Janeway swallowed at the lump in her throat as she cried, trying hard to keep eye contact with Chakotay through the stinging in her eyes and the burning in her chest. Oh yes, she could feel things. And the intensity of her emotions was threatening to engulf her. "I didn't…sense you…"

He shook his head softly. "No – I couldn't make you hear me. But I could hear you."

"I wasn't talking," she managed through her tears.

"No. You were thinking. 'I think I'd know if you were dead. Hang on, we're coming for you.'"

At the sound of her own thoughts coming from his lips, Janeway felt a surge of tears and she covered her mouth, shaking. "You _were _there. With me."

His own tears finally came. "I was. And I swear I will never, ever leave you to wonder if I'm dead or not. I would find a way to let you know."

She nodded, and they pulled each other the last few inches into an embrace, soothing the other with their presence. In those moments, Kathryn Janeway made several admissions and promises to herself. The first was that she was going to tell him – even though he already knew – that she loved him. The second was that she was going to admit to herself that she was _in _love with him. The third was going to be telling him that, too. Because one day death was going to catch up with her again, and it was never kind when it did. And so fourth, no matter what Chakotay's response to her feelings was, she was never going to waste another minute with him. She loved him and wanted all of him. The man that teased her and chased her around the living room, the man that she could just look at and he would understand exactly what to do, the man that would hold her hand under the table. And she was going to give him every part of her in return.

He interrupted her resolutions by pulling gently away from her. She took a breath to speak, but found his finger on her lips. "Kathryn, may I kiss you?" he asked softly.

A shaky breath escaped her. "I want to tell you first – now – how much I love you. I have loved you for a very long time, and I've been in love with you for nearly as long." They were going to do this, and they were going to do it on even ground. Her heartbeat steadied. "Dammit, please kiss me," she whispered to him.

A broad, deep smile spread over Chakotay's face. And then both of them leaned in, both with full disclosure, understanding, and respect for the other. The kiss was not hungry or lustful. It was sweet and genuine, warm and slow. Because that was what they were – they were not the sexual tension or the charged atmosphere or the product of too many years without human affection. They were dear friends that had forged that friendship in fires of misunderstandings, political differences, power struggles, danger, and hard decisions. It had been bought at the cost of other relationships, long days, sleepless nights, and had only come after years of working at it. The sexual tension and the chemistry, those were results of their friendship, and they would follow.

As his lips tenderly explored hers, Janeway knew it would come later. They were in no hurry, they never had been. To rush now would be to miss the profound experience of simply being in love with each other, and being open about it. She would sleep alone tonight, but she would sleep more deeply and restfully than she had in many, many years.

[TBC]

=/\=

Author's Soapbox: I honestly think that JC would not be the type of couple to go from first kiss to bed in under sixty seconds. Hence, this. Please read and review!


	2. Frogs

Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed! This isn't a one-shot, as some of you feared; it is going to be around 10-ish chapters (which are already written), so I hope you can continue to enjoy it for a while. Some chapters are going to be longer than others – just doing what J and C tell me to.

All rights to Paramount, as per usual.

"That concert was a lot longer than I thought it would be," Chakotay remarked as they walked hand in hand down the sidewalk in the deepening night.

"It was spectacular, though," Kathryn said. "Completely worth it."

He bent down and kissed her on the head. "I'm glad we decided to go out tonight."

"Well since you're _leaving _tomorrow and I won't see you for another six weeks, I'm glad we did something memorable."

"As I recall, your name was on those orders, Admiral."

"_Was _it? I sign too many papers, Captain. My apologies."

He laughed and slipped his arm around her waist, and she mimicked the gesture. They strolled along in silence through the park near her apartment, listening to the frogs.

On impulse, Kathryn asked, "Have you ever caught frogs, Chakotay?"

He chuckled. "Not since I was a child. You?"

"It was one of the only things my sister and I could without arguing. Usually."

"You're such a mean sister," he joked, elbowing her.

"Mmm, probably. Lets catch some."

"What, here?"

She unwound herself from him and started towards the pond with a grin. "Yes, _here_. I don't think there will be any frogs on _Voyager_." She took several steps backwards. "Come on."

He shook his head and grinned. "All right, lets catch frogs."

Half a minute later, Chakotay caught the first one, a small and slippery grey thing in the twilight. "Kathryn!"

"Did you get one?" her voice came back through the damp air.

"No, I caught a Terrelian Sea Slug," he laughed as she trotted back into view, her hands clasped around something.

"Oh, those are definitely rare in San Francisco," she said sarcastically, looking at the tiny bubbled head poking out of Chakotay's hand.

"I see you caught one too."

She opened her fingers a crack and a tiny webbed hand waved. "No, I found a Talaxian Marsh Fly. Neelix tells me they get to almost six centimeters."

They both laughed, and the frog Kathryn was holding wiggled free, launching himself at Chakotay and landing on his shoulder. "You have a pet, Captain," she giggled, trying to recapture the frog.

"Aren't captains supposed to have parrots?" he asked as she moved around him, grabbing at the creature.

"Supposedly. But that would make you a pirate, I think."

The frog took a great leap and escape from his shoulder. As Kathryn came back to face him, Chakotay held up the frog he was still holding for her to see. "Kiss it."

"What?" she laughed.

"Don't frogs turn into princes if you kiss them?"

She shoved his hands away. "Why would I want a prince? I have a pirate captain."

Chakotay tossed the frog gently, and watched it land and leap away. "Yes you do," he said, and without any further ado pushed her up against the closest tree and kissed her like his life depended on it. Or maybe, just his sanity for the next six weeks.

It turned out that her sanity was riding on it too, because she wrapped herself around him and kissed him back with passion and skill. They broke apart, gasping for air, and she grabbed his shirt and pulled him as she slid down to the base of the tree, looking up at the stars.

"We…should do that more often," she managed.

"I'll work out a shift rotation."

Kathryn burst into full-on laughter, drawing attention from a passing cat. "Chakotay – you are terrible, do you know that?" She leaned against his chest, then scooted herself down so her head was lying in his lap.

"As long as you don't mind," he replied, fingering his way through her hair. She sighed and closed her eyes in contentment.

"Don't go tomorrow," she whispered.

"I wish I could stay longer," he said honestly. "I feel like we just get started and then I have to leave again."

"We got a little further than that this time," she reminded him, her hand wandering his arm. "I wish -" Her voice trailed off into the dark.

"You wish what? There are plenty of shooting stars up there, if you want one," he said, nodding towards the sky.

She took a breath. "I wish I could just go to sleep here, like this, and wake up with you tomorrow morning."

A gentle smile rounded his jaw. "I wish too."

"Come home with me," she said quietly.

He looked down. "What?"

She nodded. "Come home with me. You can bring the frog, if you want. I mean, we don't have to… I just…"

He dropped a finger onto her lips to silence her, and then began slowly, lightly, to trace them. He felt her shudder. "If I came home with you tonight, Kathryn Janeway, I would be distracted for the next six weeks. So distracted that I'm sure Tom Paris would be able to see right through me."

She swallowed. "Just remember," she whispered, "he's distracted too."

Something in his eyes flickered. "Are you saying I should get used to being distracted?"

"Yes." The word was so faint he barely caught it.

He stared at her, searching for some other good reason to tell her no. After ten seconds he realized he didn't have any reasons, and no excuses. None. "I'll go get the frog," he said, and pulled her to her feet.

[TBC]

Thanks for reading – more to come.


	3. Happy

A very short vignette today. As always, all good things belong to Paramount.

=/\=

Chakotay woke up, warm and content. After an exhausting six weeks on _Voyager _during which time nearly every system that could have gone out, had – daily – he was grateful for a soft warm bed, no alarm, no systems malfunction to wake him up, and the prospect of sleeping as long as he wanted. It had to have been _the_ most ridiculous mission ever. Ever.

He felt her stir next to him, and he inhaled her scent and rolled over. He looked up, seeing her leaning on her elbow watching him. Her eyes were the clearest blue he'd ever seen them.

"Good morning," Kathryn said, smiling at him.

"Good morning," he answered, grinning back.

She trailed her knuckles along his cheek. "I am so glad you're home. Have I told you lately how happy you make me?"

"Not yet this morning," he chuckled.

She leaned down and kissed his forehead, her red hair spilling over his head. "You make me happy."

He kissed her throat. "I have never been so glad to make someone happy in my life." Her neck dipped back and he followed. "Permission to keep making the captain happy?"

She sighed, surrendering herself to the pillow. "Granted."

[TBC]

Longer chapter tomorrow. Thank you for reading; I hope you are enjoying.


	4. Staff Meetings

AN: I duly apologize for the outrageous amount of sap in this chapter. Feel free to make syrup and have yourself some delicious banana pancakes.

=/\=

"Hey, do you know anything about this staff meeting?" B'Elanna gave no further preamble as she fell in step with Admiral Janeway in the hallway.

Janeway threw her a smile. "Good morning to you too, B'Elanna. I haven't seen you in a couple of weeks."

B'Elanna smiled back. "I've been spending time with Tom and Miral. You know – away from his family. They're wonderful, but they're awfully clingy when it comes to their granddaughter. It's not as though they don't already have seven others."

Janeway put a hand on the other woman's shoulder. "Yes, but they don't have one who has just learned to walk, is babbling adorably in English and Klingon, and who is the least picky eater in the quadrant. " She shook her head, "But yes, clingy."

B'Elanna sighed. "And what about this meeting that Owen – Admiral Paris – has told us to report to tomorrow? It's the most confusing thing I've ever heard, and he won't budge an inch. We're all supposed to show up at Headquarters, in civvies, and it's _just the senior staff, _Admiral. What's going on? It doesn't sound like a meeting or a briefing so much as a mandatory picnic."

Janeway laughed out loud. "Oh, B'Elanna, I _have _missed you. Yes, it does sound like a mandatory picnic, and I'll make sure Owen hears those exact words when whatever it is is done." She shrugged. "I don't know anymore about it than you do, but if I get to have a picnic with my old senior staff and Miral, then you won't catch me complaining. I don't see many of you very often anymore. I haven't seen Harry in months."

They arrived at Janeway's office, where her aide handed her a padd with appointments on it. Janeway motioned B'Elanna to follow her inside. "Do you want anything?" she asked, nodding towards the replicator.

"No thanks, I had a big breakfast this morning."

"Banana pancakes?"

B'Elanna grinned. "Tom actually makes them really well, and I'm having fun teaching Miral to peel the banana."

"Sounds like you're enjoying his leave."

"We are." She paused and looked distractedly around the office for a moment before deciding to continue. "I understand you've been seeing a lot of Chakotay lately. We've invited him over for dinner three times now, and he keeps saying he has other plans already. Tom and I were wondering if you were…monopolizing his time."

Janeway laughed and leaned back in her chair. "Yes, it's probably me he's been cancelling on you for. I'll tell him to quit it."

"You're always welcome to come too. You know you're welcome anytime in our home, Admiral."

"Really, try just 'Kathryn' one of these days."

The younger woman smiled and shook her head. "It's going to take some more getting used to," she told Janeway.

"That's what Chakotay said, but he got over it. I think he's one of about six people who use my actual name."

B'Elanna looked at the ground for a few moments, and Janeway could see the war being played out on her face. She took pity on her.

"Tom wants you to do some covert spying for him, doesn't he? Why don't you just ask?"

B'Elanna looked up, surprised. "How did you know?"

"I've known you for what…almost nine years now? What is it Tom wants that he's not getting?"

She took a breath, gathering herself. "Okay, since you asked…" She moved her hands around anxiously for a moment. "Tom wants to know – if you and Chakotay are… involved."

"Involved?"

"Romantically." She looked terrified.

"Yes."

B'Elanna leaned forward, eyes widening. "You…are…you're…what?"

Janeway laughed, trying to keep herself from blushing importunely. "Yes. We're dating. Yes, he's staying at my apartment. Yes, we've decided to let people know soon. Soon."

B'Elanna's hands didn't seem to know what to do with themselves, let alone her words. "But… I'm mean, that's great, that's… How long has this… When did this…."

Janeway leaned on the desk and looked B'Elanna in the eye, a quirky smile on her face. "A few months, officially speaking. Since that incident with the Changeling." She toyed with a stylus, eyes roaming the ceiling. "He made it back in one piece and I had never felt so relieved to see him in my life." Her voice lowered to a quiet husky tone. "I've loved him for lots of reasons for a long time, B'Elanna. People keep saying that I got _Voyager _back safe and sound, but I really think it was him, getting me through the everyday fires and insanity, that got _Voyager _home. I loved him for being my friend and ballast." She looked at B'Elanna and a slow smile spread across her face. "It wasn't hard to actually fall in love."

B'Elanna was smiling at her, serene and radiant. "Wow. The crew…we always knew you two were close friends. There's something really right about the two of you working together. They're going to be pleased. I'm so happy for both of you."

Janeway ducked her head for a moment. "We were going to let people draw their own conclusions after this, uh, picnic, tomorrow. I know the _Voyager _rumor mill is still running smoothly, so I'll let you handle it after that. But - " she pointed the stylus at B'Elanna, "not until after the meeting tomorrow. Chakotay and I want to have some fun for once, okay?"

"Of course. I'll see you tomorrow." She got up and made it almost to the door sensor before pausing to look back. "I'm _so _happy. You and Chakotay are two of the most important people in my life, and I'm so glad you've found out you can be happy together. Thank you, Kathryn."

"Thank you, B'Elanna."

=/\=

"'A mandatory picnic?'" Chakotay laughed as he and Kathryn wandered towards the Cochrane Conference Room at Headquarters. "That's going to be one for the record."

"I know. I don't think I'm going to forget it anytime soon." They passed by the ground floor window and Kathryn looked out, her eyes searching.

"Calm down."

She shot him a glance. "Are _you _calm?"

"Not exactly the word I would pick."

"Are they here?"

"Yes. Owen has them waiting in the bowery with Julia."

"I'm glad my mother handled it all right. And yours."

He nodded. "I'm excited for you to meet her in a few days."

"Can I be honest and say I'm a bit nervous about meeting your mother?"

"I'll be honest and say I was nervous when I found out I'd met your mother without any warning."

"She loves you."

"And my mother will love you."

They turned another corner, the conference room directly ahead. Both of them stopped. Chakotay looked down at Kathryn. "All right, now I'm nervous."

She nodded and took a calming breath. "We just have to not give it away for five minutes. We can do that, can't we?"

He sighed. "After what you said to B'Elanna yesterday, I'm afraid they'll all have it figured out."

"We'll evade them. We can do this." Her shoulders squared.

He chuckled at the sight. "Hello, Admiral."

She shot him a glare. "Admiral?"

"That's your command mask."

"Not so much as mask as a shield. Better put yours on, Captain. We've got a senior staff to placate." She made to move forward, but his hand on her arm stopped her. "What is it, Chakotay?"

He smiled gently. "I just wanted to tell you that you look beautiful in white."

She blushed and glanced down at the loose white slacks and blouse she had on. "Thank you."

The two of them linked arms like they used to, and entered the room easily, meeting the glad wave of words and arms that greeted them.

"Admiral! Captain!" The Doctor cried and pulled Janeway into a bone-crushing hug.

"Doctor, I believe you are going to damage her," Seven said with amused poise.

"Ah. Sorry," he apologized, letting go and moving to shake Chakotay's hand.

"Thanks for the rescue," Janeway told Seven with a wink.

"Of course. He can be…over-zealous in his affection," she stated, looking fondly at the Doctor.

Before Janeway could pursue this interesting statement, a small something tumbled into her knee, and she looked down to see Miral tugging at her pant leg. "Well hello there," she murmured, bending down and scooping the toddler up. "How are you, Miral?"

Miral put her fingers awkwardly into Janeway's hair and let loose a string of happy nonsense words that ended in "nose."

Chakotay tugged gently at Miral's sleeve. "Nose? Where is your nose?" he asked the little girl.

She twisted in Janeway's arms to see Chakotay, and immediately put a pudgy palm up to his nose. "Nose. Meep. Nose. Meep. Down."

"You want down, now, hmm?" Janeway obligingly deposited her on the ground, where she turned and, with a stuttered gait, ran back to her parents, who were talking to Harry and Tuvok.

"Well, it's good to know that she's remembered _some _of what I tried to teach her," the Doctor huffed. "We've been working on simple body parts, and she can identify her nose, ears, mouth, hair, and toes. Where she got 'meep' from…"

"I'm willing to put money on Tom," Chakotay offered. "It's a game you play with children. You touch their nose and say 'meep.' It makes them laugh, usually."

The Doctor gave a long-suffering sigh and ushered them all over to the group. Harry bounced forward to shake their hands. "Admiral! Captain! It's good to see you again!"

"How's the new post working out, Harry?" Chakotay asked.

"It's not too bad. I work with a lot of great people, but I do miss my friends from _Voyager_."

"Given that you spent seven years aboard the ship, and that it was your first assignment, lieutenant, I do not believe that you will stop 'missing' them," Tuvok intoned.

"Nice to see you too," Janeway told him, reaching out to squeeze his arm. "I'm glad you could make it."

"Indeed. Do you know anything about the nature of this meeting? It is highly irregular."

"It certainly is," Chakotay agreed. "Where is Admiral Paris?"

"He has just arrived," Seven announced, nodding towards the doors.

Owen Paris strode in, fully clad in his uniform. "Sorry to be late, everyone. I had some last-minute things to attend to."

_Voyager's _old senior staff automatically turned to stand at attention before him.

"At ease. I know this must seem a bit strange to you, and trust me, it's the most bizarre meeting I've ever conducted, but I need you to go with the flow for a few more minutes. I'm going to ask all of you to follow me outside, where we will have more privacy."

He turned on his heel and marched out the door. To the credit of the others, they offered no verbal question, and followed him obediently out the door, down the hallway, and outside into the warm June sunshine. Paris led them through the grounds before finally turning into a large park ringed in trees. It was warm and sunny, with a light breeze. Birds sang, dogs barked, and the occasional shuttle zipped past in the distance.

"It really does feel like a picnic," Janeway heard Tom mutter to his wife.

At last they reached the shade of a group of large, elderly trees near the brook. Beyond was a wooden bowery where a small group of people began moving towards them.

Paris cleared his throat, and they all moved in closer to listen to him. "Thank you, again," he said, looking edgy. "This needed to be taken care of away from prying eyes and listening ears."

The staff exchanged some glances, but kept quiet.

"Something has recently come to light that I believe will impact certain sections of Starfleet, and particularly the old _Voyager _crew. As its old senior staff, I've asked you here – informally, in case rumors got out – to be the first to hear about this development, and to discuss how to handle its impact on your family."

Janeway decided it was time to play along. "Thank you for thinking about us," she told him. "What is the situation?"

Paris nodded heavily, and then looked pointedly at the handful of women approaching the group. "As soon as our guests arrive, I can tell you."

Harry coughed. "Sir?"

"Yes, Mr. Kim?"

He blushed a bit. "You implied that this meeting was to avoid attracting attention. Surely all of us wandering around out here in civvies will do the opposite?"

Admiral Paris gave him a sympathetic smile. "You're absolutely right. But there is a reason for your attire, I assure you."

As the group of women drew near, the Doctor let out a breath. "But – that's Admiral Janeway and Captain Chakotay's families." He looked frantically back to Admiral Paris. "Are they in some sort of danger?"

The women arrived just as Admiral Paris astonished everyone by throwing back his head and laughing heartily. Confusion ensued. A few members of the party exchanged knowing looks.

Tom looked around the crowd, from his laughing father to beaming mother to bemused command team and gave a small gasp. "No…"

Admiral Paris clapped his hands and called everyone's attention back to him. "Now. I believe that I will turn the floor over to Kathryn here, as she and Chakotay have orchestrated this whole event."

Janeway took a small step forward and held her hand up for silence. "Sorry for the elaborate set-up, everyone. How many of you have spoken with B'Elanna or Tom within the last twenty-four hours?"

It was amusing, because suddenly everybody looked incredibly guilty. Except Tuvok. He just looked expectant. At last, Tom coughed. "And uh…what exactly would they have talked to us about?"

Chakotay stepped up beside Janeway and slipped his hand into hers. "Rumors. _Voyager_. Picnics." He shrugged, and beside him Janeway was grinning wryly at her staff, which were doing their level best not to look shocked.

The Doctor attempted an answer. "Ah, well…we were here, and waiting, and just chatting really…"

Janeway decided they had squirmed enough. "The rumors about Chakotay and I being involved are all completely true," she said with a coy grin.

"And that's why you're all here," Chakotay informed them. "Because we've decided to get married, and we wanted you all to be here."

Tuvok's eyebrow nearly reached his hairline. Seven's head tipped to the point of looking like an owl. The Doctor was clapping. Harry grabbed Tom's shoulder and actually gave a little jump. B'Elanna nearly dropped Miral, and Tom's expression was somewhere between astonished and smug.

"And the only way to get all of you together these days is to call a formal meeting," Janeway said wryly. "Thanks for coming."

Immediately they were assailed by a barrage of hugs and congratulations. After a minute, Admiral Paris stepped in and pulled Janeway and Chakotay out of the midst of their staff and family. "Now, now, lets get this finished so that these two can leave."

Obediently, the staff, Janeway's mother and sister, and Sekaya all grouped together quietly.

"Kathryn, Chakotay, would you two stand over here with me?" He smiled proudly at the two of them before beginning. "I know I don't have to tell any of you here how well these two people fit together. When they asked me last week to officiate, I was sincerely surprised, but only for a while. I realized, you see, that in a way they were already married. That first marriage, one of necessity and extreme faith in one another, happened almost nine years ago when they chose to combine their respective crews into one family. During that marriage, they learned to trust, negotiate, fight, forgive, and support one another. How two people who had never met, who were enemies, and who had so much rocky ground between them managed to do that, I can't understand. I don't think it is something that just any two people could do. I wondered about this at length over the weekend, but I have a feeling that we may all be about to find out how they managed it."

Owen looked at Chakotay and nodded. Chakotay took a deep breath and caught Janeway's hands in his own.

"Kathryn, there is something I have said to you over and over again, and I'm going to say it to you again today, so that everyone can hear it. _You're not alone_. I will stand beside you no matter where you decide you need to go, or what decisions you need to make. I can't think of any way I would rather spend my life than right beside you. And so I want you to know it, and to accept it – I am here, and you're not alone, Kathryn."

Chakotay looked back at Owen, who turned and nodded to Kathryn, who was trying to manage the smile that was tugging at her mouth. She took a deep breath and raised her jaw the way she did whenever she had to say something important.

"Chakotay, I remember every time you've told me that, and how much stronger it made me feel. Because I knew it wasn't just a first officer telling his captain that, it was my closest friend making me a promise. The second time you promised me I wasn't alone, I told you that I couldn't imagine a day without you. Chakotay, today that is still my answer to your promise. I can't imagine a day without you, and I don't want one."

Owen dipped his head for a moment, struggling to find his voice. Finally, "I am of the opinion that there was an awful lot the two of you managed to keep out of your personal logs on _Voyager_. You really were a family." He smiled benignly. "And you still are. What do you say we make you legally family as well?"

Tom Paris had always wondered, though never really _suspected, _that there was anything between Janeway and Chakotay aside from friendship and respect. Regardless, he had watched, started rumors, circulated rumors, and even started a betting pool on the command team after their solo sojourn on that planet years ago. But now he was seeing those seven years with new eyes. Jokes on the bridge, overly-protective acts, smiles, touches, intense looks, standing close enough to share a warp bubble, that crazy telepathic mind reading the two of them could do… It was simple actions they couldn't help but do, and they came from the times that the two of them were alone. Tom found himself rethinking the juggled R&R shifts, finding them burning the midnight oil in the mess hall, watching B'Elanna clear the holodeck log and seeing that they had run programs together nearly every other week… "How did we miss it?" he whispered to his wife.

She swallowed and rested her head on his shoulder briefly. "I don't think they wanted us to see it, Tom. Maybe…maybe _they _didn't want to see it because they couldn't have it."

Tom was about to ask why not, when B'Elanna swatted him and jerked her head towards the front.

Owen squared his shoulders. "Now. With the authority entrusted me by Starfleet, I now pronounce you man and wife. Chakotay, I think you should kiss you bride – even though the senior staff is watching." He winked at the younger man.

Chakotay and Janeway held each other's gaze for a few seconds – that laser look – before he cupped his hand around her cheek and leaned in. And then they were kissing like a couple of cadets hiding in a storage locker. Tom found himself laughing. _That _was why they had waited.

[TBC]

Thanks for reading! There is more to come. As always, R&R is good for the soul!


	5. The Ambassador

Hello all! Thank you for the reviews. Enjoy, and remember, all rights go to people who make lots more money than I do.

=/\=

The situation was damn near impossible, and every admiral and captain in the room knew it. Admiral Nacheyev sighed heavily and cleared his throat. "Does anyone have any suggestions? And I mean _anything. _Just a thought, even."

The silence was deafening and Janeway tried to think about the problem from a new angle for about the twentieth time in six hours.

"It just seems so impossible," she dimly heard another admiral somewhere down the table say.

There were padds, desktop computers, plates, and an unholy number of coffee mugs along the length of the conference table.

"What we need," said perhaps the last strong voice in the room, "is a completely different perspective." Captain Picard's deep voice echoed down the table to Janeway's ears and she turned and looked past Owen Paris.

Picard continued. "As a captain, whenever I find a problem that proves to be unsolvable by me, I ask for someone else's opinion. Simply because one person cannot solve something does not mean that no person can. The person I used to turn to was Will Riker. He knows what needs to be done, but also has a different way of seeing the universe. Even if it doesn't turn up an answer, it may shed new light on the issue."

There was a general murmur of assent in the room. Lots of commanders were, as the saying went, a dime a dozen. But a handful of them were absolute gems, and they became executive officers. And even more rarely, an executive officer and a captain could be made into a team that could do the unthinkable. Like her and Chakotay.

Janeway felt a pang at the thought. She resisted the urge to twist her wedding band around her finger, and applied herself to the problem. Chakotay was out there on _Voyager_, in the thick of the problem that she was trying to solve, and oddly enough, she felt like he was the one person who could solve it. It seemed like his kind of problem. Clashing cultural backgrounds, hot heads, bright possibilities, old wounds, tricky alliances, deep-set beliefs…it had Chakotay written all over it. Involuntarily, she chuckled.

Nacheyev heard it. "You have a thought, Admiral?" he asked, and the room's attention turned to her.

She composed herself. "Jean-Luc is absolutely right. I was thinking that this was exactly the kind of problem I would have gone to Captain Chakotay with, and he would have the right suggestion." She very carefully said 'Captain.'

Picard looked directly at her. "Captain Chakotay is out there now. Most of the bare facts we have about the situation, however, are coming from the _Paragon_, not _Voyager_. I know Captain Hastings and her crew, but they don't have the…perspective or unique experience…that Captain Chakotay and his crew would have."

Janeway felt her pulse quicken. She looked back to Nacheyev. "Suppose we asked Captain Chakotay to get more directly involved in the proceedings out there? I know that he could get us a more nuanced understanding of what we're dealing with. And aside from that…I have a feeling that he'll help us figure this out." She left it at that, not wanting to appear to be championing her husband too much. There were those in this room who, while not wanting to throw him in jail anymore, certainly didn't want him captaining a starship.

Owen Paris came to her aid. "I'm going to second that. The _Voyager _crew has experience in creating alliances and establishing rapport in situations that are not at all by-the-book. Let's see what all of that Delta Quadrant experience can contribute."

=/\=

Much to the chagrin of about six people in that room, Admiral Janeway was completely correct in anticipating that _Captain _Chakotay could give a more nuanced version of the situation. On top of that, he almost completely solved it before Nacheyev and Paris could get a call through to him. They were impressed. Janeway was duly smug.

Five weeks later, Janeway was sitting at her desk going through her morning messages when the comm sounded and her aide announced Owen Paris. He came sauntering in and took a seat across from her and nodded at her to finish composing the message she was writing.

"Owen. What can I do for you?" she asked warmly when she finished.

He smiled at her. "You know, Kathryn, I was remembering about twenty years ago when we were sitting on opposite sides of the desk and you were asking me to be the chair of your thesis project."

Janeway laughed and ran her hands over her face. "That was a long time ago," she chuckled. "A lifetime."

He kept smiling. "I remember asking you what you thought of my family."

She laughed. "I don't remember what I said. I was still shocked I was speaking with you."

"You said they were very handsome. And that you were sure Tom would make me very proud." He paused and glanced at his hands. "You were completely right." He looked back up and her and winked. "So now, since I'm sitting on this side of the desk, I'm going to ask you how _your _family is."

Janeway settled back in her chair. "My mother and sister and very well, thank you."

"And your husband?"

She smirked and looked away. "Last I heard he was also very well."

"Probably anxious to see you."

"He'd better be."

Owen laughed. "I kept it quiet. _Voyager _should be here in about half an hour, Kathryn. Earth. I think you should beam aboard and greet him in a strictly unprofessional capacity."

Janeway leaned forward. "They're _here_? I thought they'd be another three days. Owen Paris, how did you -"

He held up a hand. "Never mind how, Kathryn. I wanted you to be able to see Chakotay before he got trapped in a two-day debriefing session. He's done a fantastic job with this situation, and Nacheyev and I see bright things in his future."

"Such as?"

Owen tipped his head. "We'll see. Let's just say that we're thinking of maybe creating a position that allows the two of you to be on the same planet for more than two weeks at a time."

"The thought is appealing," she admitted. "But he's more than entitled to do whatever he needs to with his career."

"Of course. And being _Voyager's _captain seemed like the logical next position for him. It kept the ship in the family, which I think was necessary for the first few years of you all being here."

"Ah. To ease us back into it." She leaned forward conspiratorially. "Owen, she's my ship. I know her better than anyone ever will, even Chakotay."

"I think she likes Chakotay a bit more than you, Kathryn. He asked me to tell you – when it was nicely opportune – that the replicator in the captain's quarters works perfectly." He'd delivered the death-blow, and he knew it.

Janeway glared. "That settles it. I'm beaming aboard first thing to give that replicator a stern talking to."

"Good. And while you're at it…why don't you and that remarkably clever husband of yours talk about the possibilities of trading in the word 'captain' for 'ambassador.'"

=/\=

Half an hour later, Janeway and Paris beamed up to _Voyager, _and were met by Chakotay and Tom.

"Permission to come aboard, Captain?" Owen asked with a smile.

Chakotay smiled back at both of them. "Granted, and welcome aboard."

Owen stepped off the platform and shook Chakotay's hand firmly. "I wanted to personally thank you and congratulate you on your successful navigation of the Terbani issue. The admiral here can attest that the whole lot of us, and every available captain, ambassador, and xenoanthropologist we had were scratching our heads over the problem."

Chakotay shrugged modestly. "It was a delicate issue, it just needed to be looked at from another angle."

"Which we were assured it would be," Owen told him, nodding towards Janeway.

"Thank you," Chakotay told Janeway evenly, and she dipped her head once. A faint smile was tugging at the side of her mouth.

"Now," Owen said briskly, rubbing his hands together, "Captain, I would like you to consider yourself off-duty for the rest of the day. I can guarantee that your debriefing will be lengthy, so I'd like you to get some rest. Lt. Commander Paris can show me around and bring me up to speed on _Voyager's _status." He clapped a hand on his son's shoulder, and brief smile passed over Tom's face.

"Thank you, sir," Chakotay said.

Janeway stepped up and took Chakotay's arm. "I believe there is a problem with the replicator in your quarters," she said coyly, leading him out of the door.

He frowned at her. "No, there isn't. That thing works perfectly, it just hates you."

"Well, the ship can't be playing favorites with us now, can it? I'm going to have to sabotage it for you so you can get the full Captain of _Voyager _experience."

"I wasn't aware my experience wasn't authentic," he laughed as they moved down the corridor together. Crewmen couldn't contain their smiles at the sight of Janeway. She grinned at one of her old crewmen, now a lieutenant.

"So captain," she elbowed her husband, "do you get headaches every afternoon?"

"No."

"Do you have nightmares at least three times a week?"

"Not usually."

"Do you have real coffee to drink?"

"Yes, if I wanted the stuff," he laughed.

They stepped into the turbolift. "And do you have a gorgeous first officer to have dinner with?"

Chakotay laughed out loud. "He's all right, but I have to share him with his wife."

"Then you're not getting the real experience," Janeway said seriously, winking at him.

The lift slid to a halt and they exited, wandering slowly down the hallway to the captain's quarters. Janeway hadn't been on board _Voyager _in almost nine months, and a chord of homesickness struck her as she watched Chakotay enter the door code – her old door code.

"You didn't change it," she said. They passed inside.

"No. I had a lot of new things to remember, the last thing I needed was to be locked out of my quarters."

She rolled her eyes and went directly to the replicator. Chakotay pulled off his jacket and draped it over a chair, watching her closely.

"Computer, do you recognize my voice?"

"Affirmative. Admiral Kathryn Janeway."

Janeway grinned conspiratorially at her husband. "Coffee, black."

The mug materialized on the tray, steam issuing gently from it. Janeway took it in both her hands and sipped it. "Slightly too hot as always," she confirmed, and wandered back over to Chakotay. "Here, have some."

He sat down on the couch and shook his head. "You know I hate that stuff unless it has what you determine to be a disgusting amount of cream and sugar."

"But you told me you like the smell of the coffee maker at the apartment," she rebuked gently, setting the cup down on the table and curling up on the couch beside him.

He slipped his fingers into her hair and smiled. "That's because it reminds me of you. I can't remember you _not _smelling like coffee."

"That bad?" she asked reaching out and fiddling with his pips.

"I think most of the crew would associate it with you because they saw you drink it. But I doubt many of them got this close to you," he muttered, going for the soft skin under her jaw.

She tipped her head back to let him work. "No – just you."

"Maybe coffee smells like you, and you don't actually smell like coffee."

She laughed and pulled him closer. "Damn I've missed you, Chakotay."

He gave her a soft smile before pressing his mouth over hers. Oh damn, but she had missed this. It was interesting, missing him, because she had known that sensation off and on over the past nine years. But missing him doing _this _was another emotion all together. She hated waking up and rolling over and feeling his absence on the other side of the bed. She hated leaving the apartment in the morning without being pinned against the wall and making out. She hated coming back to the apartment knowing he was not there, nor would he be there soon. She hated trying to fall asleep at night without his large presence beside her, and his soft breathing.

It was actually a bit surprising to her that she ached for him so much when he was gone. They had been married only about half a year, and had spent much more time apart than together. And yet the absence of his affection was a keen loss when he left.

He pulled her in deeper, twisting his hands into her hair and she felt her back arching in response. He surfaced just long enough to gasp, "I lied; I love the taste of coffee."

Need sparked through her, and she gladly caved to it. She pushed him back and crawled onto his lap, indulging in his taste, his scent, his arms. When he slid his hands up to her neck and began pulling off her jacket, Owen Paris' words intruded into her mind.

With effort, she pulled back. "Mmm, wait."

He took a steadying breath. "For what?"

She slipped back onto the couch beside him. "I'm supposed to…proposition you first."

He nearly choked. "You're what?"

She laughed. "Sorry…" She tried to compose herself. "After the debriefing, Owen and Nacheyev are going to offer you a…new position. I'm supposed to give you fair warning."

"And you're telling me this now?" he asked incredulously.

She bit her lip. "We both know there wouldn't be a later."

He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "All right, shoot."

"They – and really, the entire admiralty, myself included – are incredibly impressed with the way you handled the Terbani situation. They're so impressed that they were wondering if you…might think about changing career tracks."

Chakotay frowned. "Is that code for they're all really angry at me for doing something right? I like Owen, and Nacheyev is okay, but I know that there are still some people in Starfleet who don't like me too much."

Janeway nodded. "I thought about that, and I don't think that's what's going on. I think this is a genuine offer. And I know you'd be brilliant at it. _Not _that you aren't a brilliant captain of _Voyager_."

"All right then. What is this career move they want me to take?"

She smirked a bit. "How does Ambassador Chakotay sound to you?"

He nearly fell off the couch. "Ambassador? They have to be joking."

"They aren't. And I do think you'd be brilliant at it. You sort of did that kind of thing anyway when you were first officer."

Chakotay took a few deep breaths. "Just…just because of what I did out there? With the Terbani?"

Janeway felt her smirk growing into a smile. "Yes. Well, there was also some whispering about keeping the two of us on the same planet for more than two weeks at a time."

He frowned again.

"That wasn't my doing, none of this was. And while I would love to see you more often, it's your career, Chakotay. I'll support you whatever decision you make."

He stood up abruptly and paced before the couch. After several moments he paused and looked down at her. "It would be nice to be together."

She smiled. "It would."

"I think we've spent more time apart since we got married than we have together."

She nodded. "We have. I counted."

He grinned. "I…I'll think about it." He paced again before stopping abruptly and looking out the viewport at earth. "Dammit, how did they manage to strap both of us to desks within two years?" He regarded her. "You know you're the youngest full admiral in decades."

She nodded. "I know. And you'd be one of the youngest human ambassadors that the Federation has had."

"Kathryn, we're too young for this."

She rose to her feet and took his hands. "Maybe. But maybe…desk jobs might be less exciting, Chakotay, but they do offer compensation in other forms."

"Such as?" he chuckled.

She nearly blushed. "Such as having a home. Having the time to take a vacation. Watching the sunset. Trying new places to eat. Taking walks. Smelling the rain."

He stared at her hard for a few seconds. "Kathryn – is that you talking or me?"

Now she was definitely blushing. "I think that you finally just got that part of me to come out. Do I miss _Voyager_? Oh, absolutely. But for twenty-five years my home has been whatever quarters on whatever starship in whatever quadrant. I know it sounds crazy but I've discovered I like the stability of having an address. And I wouldn't have that if I was still a captain."

He kept staring. Finally, "I love having a home to come home to."

She nodded.

"Kathryn… Spirits, Kathryn, we could have a _home_. Not just an apartment, a _home_. With a garden and trees and a bathtub and windows and…"

She felt tears spill down her cheeks. "We could, couldn't we?" she choked.

"I feel like the universe just exploded into possibilities," he whispered.

"I think it did."

He nodded. "I think I've thought about it long enough." A full smile was finding his face. "I want it. I want that life. I want you."

Kathryn stepped into him and slid her arms around his neck, and he wrapped his arms firmly around her middle. His lips found her forehead and he kissed her again and again, his tears wetting her skin. At last he found his voice again. "Come on," he whispered, and pulled her into the bedroom.

[TBC]

AN: I decided to break another head-cannon rule and let Chakotay do something a little more active and glamorous than teaching anthropology. As an anthropologist, I can assure you that it is strictly un-glamorous. And come on, Chakotay is brilliant, so lets let him shine a bit, eh?


	6. Yours, Mine, and Ours

Thank you all for the follows and reviews – they make my day immensely better. As usual, All Good Things belong to someone else…

=/\=

Chakotay found Kathryn seated on the bed, her legs pulled up her chest, head resting on her knees. She was looking out the window at the sunrise – a luxury she did not usually have. The rays were turning her hair from its inside dark red color to the red gold that he loved. Despite looking so quietly radiant, her furrowed brow and focused eyes betrayed her stormy thoughts. It was the same look he used to see when he would enter her ready room and find her glaring at her desktop computer, chin weighted on a fist, other hand tapping impatiently at the table.

"Kathryn?" he asked quietly. If she was moody enough, she would dismiss him as easily as she could during those meetings in the ready room.

She started and turned her attention to him, the storminess draining off her face and hanging around her shoulders. "Chakotay. How was your run?"

He shrugged, tossing the shower towel across the chair and pulling his shirt over his head. "Fine. You didn't sleep last night." He pushed the ball back in her court, gauging her mood.

It was her turn to shrug. "Not really."

He stepped towards the bed. "You haven't slept well for a few nights. And you get jumpy when it gets late."

Her eyes studied the floor for several long moments as she decided which side of her emotions to fall on. He knew she was feeling conflicted; he could see it on her face. And her disinterest in going to bed together had not gone unnoticed by him.

Finally, her face took on a flinty determination that he associated with Borg Cubes, and she looked up at him. "I'm worried about you."

That surprised him. And didn't feel like the answer. He knelt on the bed beside her. "I'm fine, Kathryn. Why are you worried about me?"

She floundered a bit. "I'm worried…that you want children." Stoically, she avoided his eyes.

"Worried?"

They hadn't actually discussed it yet, but he knew it would be a difficult subject. Between their relative late start on raising a family, their careers, and his crazy gene, any amount of things could go wrong from beginning to end.

She looked at him, frustrated and lost, and he knew they had hit the barrier of words that they still did sometimes. He leaned forward and kissed her fully, pushing her neck back and then drawing it forward. When he pulled upwards gently and broke it, she gave an almost sigh, letting her forehead come to rest against his.

"Kathryn, tell me." No answer but more of her weight against him. Chakotay reached out a finger and raised Kathryn's face to him. "Tell me. Do _you_ want children?" His voice was soft; he wasn't pressing for a particular answer.

She sighed. "Q asked me that…what, eight years ago?"

"What was your answer?"

"I told him I did want to have a child someday, with someone I love." She hooked her finger around his, holding it. "And I have the someone I love."

He smiled softly. "And the child?"

She glanced down for a moment, then over his shoulder. "Chakotay…yes, I want a child. But…I think about being nearly 60 and trying to raise a ten-year-old. Or being ready to retire and having a teenager." Her eyes found his. "And when I think about it I feel so _tired_. It's not that I don't want a child, it's that I feel that my time to have one is up. Maybe I could still carry one, but raise it?"

Chakotay took both of her hands in his. "You have no idea how relieved I am to hear you say that."

"Really?" she asked, surprised.

"Really. I don't want to be that old and have a child that young. I couldn't keep up. It doesn't mean I don't want one, but I don't think it would be fair to any of us. Not to you, to ask you to be a mother _and _an admiral; not to me to be a father _and _an ambassador; not to the child who would never have its parents around." He paused, and then added with feeling, "And don't even get me started on the crazy gene."

Her blue eyes flickered for a moment with unshed tears. "Chakotay, your crazy gene is the least of my concerns. That wouldn't stop me, you have to believe that. If we were ten years younger – five even – that wouldn't stop me."

Hearing her say that brought him a degree of peace on the subject. He bowed his head for a moment, remembering her faith in him when they had been trapped in chaotic space. She had allowed him to go on a vision quest even when the Doctor told her it was a dangerous idea. She had told Harry to give up his post to let him recalibrate nearly every sensor on _Voyager_, and then told Tom to use the questionable course and pilot them clear. And then she had very literally held him up all the way back to his quarters. She had waited while the Doctor all but put him to bed, and then pulled a chair into his bedroom and just sat with him until he fell asleep.

"Thank you," he told her. "That means a lot."

Her hands were on his shoulders, and her face was seeking his. "Hey, I promised to support you in sickness and health, remember?" she smiled, trying to lighten the mood.

He laced his fingers over hers. "Yes, but you did that long before we got married, Kathryn."

"I tried. I tried to show you how I felt."

He kissed her forehead. "I know. I saw it for what it was."

She raised her jaw so that their lips met, and kissed him softly. "I loved you for a very long time, Chakotay. I don't want people to think I'm being selfish by deciding against trying to have a child."

"Kathryn, I will never think, and I will never let anybody else think, that our decision to not have children – and it is _our _decision – was because you don't love me."

They embraced each other, letting the resolution percolate into their bones and quiet.

"Besides, Kathryn," Chakotay said light-heartedly yet sincerely, "we already have 141 children, and two grandchildren."

"Two?"

"Naomi and Miral."

She chuckled. "Please don't make me think of Naomi as my grandchild."

"She probably wouldn't call you grandma."

"I'm not sure I'm ready for anybody to call me that."

He leaned forward and grinned. "But think how much fun it will be to be the grandparents who spoil the grandchildren and then turn them back to their parents."

"Can we stick with aunt and uncle for the next decade?" she pleaded.

He laughed. "You can stick with aunt as long as you want, but I want to be grandpa. I like the thought of being able to have that sort of pull with B'Elanna's kids." There was a pause as Chakotay turned around on the bed and sat down next to her, looking out at the sky.

"And we are their parents, after a fashion. Do you remember Owen talking about our first marriage being one of necessity and extreme faith?"

"Yes." Kathryn leaned her head against his shoulder affectionately. "Nearly 100 children that I had when we met. All that baggage, and you still said yes."

He laughed. "Forty children, a decided rebellious streak, and the possibility that I would mutiny at the first opportunity, and yet you still asked."

"Necessity."

"And extreme faith."

"A real marriage that started out that rocky probably wouldn't have lasted."

"Oh, I liked you well enough. It was the fact that our kids didn't get along that worried me. When you have that many, you have to take their welfare into consideration." He pulled her hair affectionately and they laughed.

As the laughter subsided, Kathryn looked at Chakotay seriously. "But…could we get a dog?"

[TBC]


	7. Amelia

You know the deal, TBPT own everything. Except the dog. Technically.

=/\=

When Kathryn had asked if they could get a dog, Chakotay had envisioned a small puppy. A small puppy that chewed on everything, barked incessantly, and wasn't house-trained. He was surprised then that Kathryn had decided they should rescue an older dog, but it made perfect sense. Someone else had done all the training they didn't have time to provide, and everyone benefited.

Said dog's name was Amelia, and she was a sweet, intelligent, loyal border collie of ten years. And she loved to run. That was when Chakotay had decided that maybe the dog wouldn't just be Kathryn's dog. He now had a running companion who would bowl along beside him happily, tongue lolling out and black eyes begging for more.

Amelia had also taken an amusing liking to the holodeck boxing simulation. Chakotay would never bring her to a real ring, but on the holodeck she could stand on the sidelines and bark, rushing back and forth with a wagging tail.

She liked Kathryn's activities too. Somehow, Kathryn had taught her to dig on command, and Amelia had dug small furrows that now contained onions, tomatoes, and cucumbers. Reading in the evenings meant being sprawled on her side on the couch while Kathryn held her book in one hand and scratched Amelia's belly with the other.

"I'm so glad we got her," Chakotay murmured one evening as they sat on the couch, Kathryn's head on his shoulder, and Amelia splayed contentedly across their laps.

Kathryn kissed his cheek. "I am glad to hear that." She reached down and ran her fingers tenderly through Amelia's black coat, earning a lick in return. "And I am _so _happy to have a dog again."


	8. Contrary

Thank you for your patience; life happens and such. All rights to people who make much more money than me.

=/\=

Kathryn wandered out of the kitchen and down the hall. A sigh escaped the bedroom doorway. She made her way towards it, still marveling after five years that this was a home they had built with their own hands. She leaned against the doorframe and looked in. Chakotay was sitting cross-legged on the bed, staring at a padd in frustration.

"Your presentation?" she asked, sliding onto the bed beside him. She slipped her fingers into his hair and kissed his cheek.

He tossed her a smile. "Yes. When did I become nervous about speaking in front of people?"

She chuckled and moved her hand to scratch his back comfortingly. "Since you were called upon as an Ambassador for the Federation to speak in the front of the President, the Klingon Chancellor, Vulcan High Command, the -"

"Oh yes, thanks Kathryn, that helps." He elbowed her.

She kissed his cheek again. "You'll do fine. You always do. And I'll be there, so you can just pretend you're leading a staff meeting, commander."

He rolled his eyes and groaned. "You are incorrigible. How the hell did you get made a full admiral again?"

"Charm and good looks, Chakotay. Both of which you also have." She tugged at his arm, trying to move his attention away from the presentation that both of them knew by heart. She knew it was good, and she knew how he performed under pressure. She was not at all worried about what would happen tomorrow morning, but she wanted him to stop fretting about it.

He sighed and turned to look at her, but she rolled down onto her back and pulled him along. "You'll be all right," she whispered.

His eyes closed briefly, and he sighed again. "Do you promise?" he asked finally.

"I promise," she told him. "I've always had faith in your abilities. And besides, standing up to your wife when she's angry has got to be worse than speaking to a bunch of bored diplomats."

That elicited a chuckle from him, and he kissed her nose, brushing her hair from her face. "Yes, you have prepared me thoroughly for any sticky situation."

"Oh, I've only helped. You've always loved sticky situations."

His mouth was roaming over her hairline. "Have I?"

"Of course you do. What did you say your father called you again?"

He stopped for a moment and she felt him smile against her cheek. "Contrary."

She turned her head and looked at him. "Contrary. Ex-Starfleet. Maquis rebel. Starfleet Commander. Federation Ambassador." She nudged him in the leg with her knee. "Contrary, and I love it."

They held each other's eyes for a moment, before he grinned and shook his head. "Thanks for the distraction."

"Should I keep it up?"

"Oh, please."

[TBC]

Read and review, and have a lovely day!


	9. Herding Cats

Several years later…all rights still go to Paramount and people.

=/\=

"Are you _sure_?" B'Elanna asked again, watching anxiously as her three children pounded down the hallway of Janeway's home. "I can keep them."

Janeway laughed. "B'Elanna, you know they're better for Chakotay then they are for anyone else."

She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "Those stories he tells…"

"Believe me, I know first-hand how awful they are."

"I guess if you're seven they're not bad."

"I've advised him to just tell real stories, but he hasn't take my advice so far."

"Too bad. But really – you've already got Harry's kids tonight. And about five other people's."

"I know. That's why it's a sleepover, B'Elanna. Chakotay and I are supposed to spoil our grandkids." She put an arm around her friend and led her down the hallway and into the cozy living room where Chakotay was tussling with B'Elanna's oldest son and about three other children ranging from two to nine. "See? They'll be fine."

Amelia slid in and out of the mob of children, instinctively herding them towards Chakotay. B'Elanna laughed as Amelia nosed eighteen-month-old Kathryn towards her figurative grandfather. "I see having a herding dog helps."

"You should get one," Janeway said as she scooped three-year-old Charlie – Harry's boy – from the floor. "She even herds husbands."

"Does she?"

"Mmhmm. She has Chakotay well trained."

"I'll look into it; I could use one for Tom. But Kathryn, are you _sure _you're _sure_?"

Janeway combed Charlie's hair from his eyes. "I'm positive. I _want _to spoil all the grandkids as often as I can. And I don't usually get to see so many of them at once, anyway. Billy's little girl – Sophie, over there in the kitchen? I haven't seen her in two years. She's six now, can you believe it?"

B'Elanna stepped back. "You really do want them all here, don't you? I suppose you didn't have any kids to jade you."

"I had all of you, B'Elanna. Jade me? No, but I did take the shortcut to being a grandparent."

She laughed. "All right. Then thanks again for watching them. Tom and I haven't had a night to ourselves in ages."

Janeway smiled. "Have a fun time, and I'll see you around lunch tomorrow."

B'Elanna took a last look at her children, now playing tag with Mike and Carey's youngest children, and smiled at the scene. "All right, mom. I'll see you tomorrow."

=/\=

Thanks for so many follows and reviews! They make my summer exponentially better.


	10. Geese

Thank you all very much for reading and reviewing. As always, all good things don't belong to me.

=/\=

"It's cold outside," Chakotay remarked needlessly. The chill wind that blew him and a smattering of dead leaves into the doorway was proof enough to Kathryn that it was, indeed, quite cold outside.

She looked up from the book she was reading to see Chakotay with a bundle of firewood in his arms, and muddy boots on his feet. "Wait, I'll take those," she offered, coming to him and letting him shift the bulky logs into her arms. They seemed heavier in her arms than previous winters. "You make sure you leave those shoes on the rug, mister."

He chuckled. "I spent three days refinishing this floor last summer Kathryn, I'm not about to muddy it."

Kathryn maneuvered the logs into their box beside the fireplace.

"Do you want to take a walk?"

She turned to look back at Chakotay, surprised. "I thought you were just complaining that it was cold."

He shrugged, cheeks reddened with wind. "It is. It's miserable. But it's sunny, which it hasn't been in nearly a week, and I heard geese on the pond. I thought we could go throw the last of the bread to them."

Kathryn rolled her eyes. "Fine, but you are waiting _right there _for me to get my coat and the bread."

"Consider me a statue."

A few minutes later, suitably coated and mittened, with bag of bread and old croutons stuffed in Kathryn's pocket, the two of them left the house and started slowly up the walkway towards the street. It was almost half a mile from their house to the main road, and another ten minute walk from there to the nearest transport station. But if you left the walkway halfway to the road, there was a path leading into the woods, and a short walk brought you to an icy pond. In the summer, local kids fished and swam in it while their city-dwelling cousins watched in dismay. In the winter it was mostly deserted, as the ice fishing was bad, and the skating a perilous idea. But a flock of geese and a few ducks sheltered there over the winter, relying on locals to supplement their meager winter diet.

Half an hour later, Chakotay and Kathryn reached the pond and gingerly sat down on the frozen log bench near the muddy bank. Kathryn pulled the bag from her pocket and passed it to Chakotay, who began breaking the bread into pieces and tossing it on the ground. It took less than twenty seconds for the news to spread that there was food, and they were surrounded by snowy white geese.

Kathryn had told Chakotay years ago, the first time they came, to always throw the bread well away from them, because geese were mean and would bite. Now, the flock had fairly well adjusted to the system, and both of them were amused that the geese would keep a respectful distance from them, but other would-be geese feeders were not so lucky.

"You're right, the sun is nice," Kathryn told him.

He smiled over at her. "It brings out the red in your hair."

She laughed. "You mean what's left of it. I'm afraid you and I are more the salt and pepper variety these days."

"You wear it very well."

"It makes you look distinguished. You finally look like what I always imagined a Federation ambassador to look like."

He laughed and crumpled up the empty bag. "Did you also imagine yourself married to one?"

"No, that hadn't occurred to me."

"Surprise."

"Did you ever envision yourself married to an admiral?"

"Never. I would have avoided it."

"Surprise."

There was a few minutes of lull as the geese finished their meal and the couple on the bench ventured glances upwards into the sun. Finally, Chakotay nudged his wife. "Do you want to get back inside? I don't want you to get sick over Christmas vacation."

Kathryn slipped her mittened hand into his. "I used to take snow walks all the time."

"You were twenty-something at that time, Kathryn. Not sixty-something."

She elbowed him hard. "Don't mention it. No, lets walk around the pond. Maybe we'll see a deer."

With a collective groan they got up, knees clicking and backs aching.

"Are we really this old, Kathryn?"

"It certainly feels like it today. Hot bath when we get back?"

"Oh yes," he said with feeling. "And chocolate."

"Quite the splurge."

"If the Doctor has ruled out alcohol for me, then I'm going to supplement it with whatever I want. And I want hot chocolate."

"All right. When we get back, I'll run the bath and you make the chocolate."

"Aye, captain."

Arm in arm, they ambled around the pond together. They didn't see any deer, but several late squirrels were scampering around, digging through wet leaves for the last of the fall's offerings. Chakotay said he wished they had left a few pieces of bread for them.

The sun was reddening in the southwest sky, signaling the daylight's imminent departure, when they reached their front door. Twenty minutes later, there was a snug fire in the fireplace, and its warm light was reaching out to the bathroom doorway while chamomile bubble bath and hot chocolate wafted out until they touched.


	11. Hold My Hand

Sorry I sat on this one for so long, folks. I kept feeling as though there are another couple of chapters that need to exist, but Janeway and Chakotay refuse to tell me what those might be at present. Hence, here is the "last" chapter to conclude the story.

You know the drill, all rights to Paramount.

=/\=

"But Doctor, what comes next? What do we do now?"

"Hold hands. Keep holding hands, and don't ever let go."

-The Doctor (Who), "Hide"

=/\=

_Finally, a peaceful night for her_, he though, thanking the Spirits as he lay beside her listening to the pounding rain that drown out all other sound. At ninety-six, though, there weren't many peaceful nights to have. And of course, neither of them were certain anymore that they would wake up on earth in the morning.

He re-adjusted himself on the pillows, trying to find a comfortable position for his bones that continually ached with stiffness. There wasn't one though, not anymore. There hadn't been for years. Decades. The only comfortable place was in his mind, the place that he went when he held his wife, slipped his fingers through hers in their decades-old symbol of _together_. The ultimate silent comfort that had been given under the briefing room tables of a hundred conferences; across the space between chairs at a _Voyager _reunion; inside the most sterile of clinics.

They spent too much time in clinics. It was a result, Kathryn had said wryly last week, of spending too much time in this life.

They had laughed, but the look they shared afterwards was completely sincere. They were ready to be at rest.

Chakotay knew the Spirit world intimately. He knew beyond any doubt that there was rest and beauty and love after this life. Kathryn believed him more and more the older they got. A few years ago, she had whispered that she wanted it to be true more than she had wanted almost anything.

"_It's real, Kathryn."_

_ A sigh. "Whatever is real after this, just be there, okay?"_

_ "You can't get rid of me by dying, Kathryn."_

_ "Seriously, Chakotay. It's not anyone else I want, just you."_

_ And the dog, he had mused silently. How she missed Amelia. "I promise, Kathryn. I'll be there."_

He would be. He would wait in that quiet, languid state of peace until she arrived. He would wait on the beach, where she had seen her Spirit guide. The surf would move in and out and the sun would warm him, his body again broad and strong. And he would turn and see her walking up the shore towards him. Red hair, strong steps. Eyes would meet, and she would rush towards him with an abandon that had escaped them decades ago. And they would embrace and move on. Together.

The image brought him joy. It felt real and near, just through the next open doorway. They would be whole again, healthy again, strong again, and together still. On impulse, he turned onto his side to kiss her cheek and catch her scent.

Her warm, fragile flesh yielded to his light kiss, but no sigh of recognition escaped her. His heart pattered uncertainly for a moment and his eyes moved to her chest – it was no longer was shuddering with mortal breath. Sorrow kicked him hard in the throat, and he tried to say her name, but only the first letter was formed, the rest was a sob.

He bowed his head to her shoulder, left hand shaking and seeking for either of hers. He found one, wedding band loose on the skin, resting on her stomach. He threaded his fingers into her hand, rings touching, thumb playing across dry skin and bony form.

"Kathryn," he tried again, making it through. "Oh Kathryn, you weren't supposed to go first."

Images blurred, his chest ached, and his eyes closed involuntarily. But it was not the blackness of agony that he expected, nor had experienced before. It was his forest. He was caught in the vision, rooted there, remote from his frail and pained body resting in their bed.

Wolf was there, sitting on her haunches and watching from the base of a tree.

"Hello, Stone Keeper."

"Kathryn –"

"Is here."

He followed Wolf's gaze to the left. Kathryn was sitting at the base of a tree, looking at him with a quiet and peaceful gaze. Her red hair seemed to slip from shoulder-length to mid-back with every blink of his eye. Her face followed, one moment youthful and fresh, another mature and thoughtful. The blue eyes that met his both snapped with playful fire and were pools of deep calm.

"Chakotay. I thought I'd find you if I stayed here," she said, pleased.

"I was supposed to go first," was his dumb-founded response.

A smile. "Yes. But I'll wait."

"For how long, though?" he begged, dreading months and years without her.

"How long do you need?" She smiled softly.

"I don't want any more time," he said firmly.

Kathryn looked to Wolf. Wolf chuckled in her throat. "Want or need, Stone Keeper. She said 'need,' you say 'want.'"

He paused. Wolf had not teased him like this in many years, possibly because he became more patient the more he aged. He cleared his mind, focusing on the question. Wolf's wisdom was vast.

"I do not want any more time, because I do not want to be without her," he said slowly. And then he realized. A smile spread across his face, and his anxiety fled. "And I do not need any more time. Everything is done. I was only waiting for her."

"I'm here now," Kathryn said, standing and reaching her hand out to him. "And everything else is done."

He reached out and took her hand, solid and smooth as it was the first time he had. "Everything else is done."

"It's a relief, isn't it?" she grinned.

His smile grew and he embraced his wife. "It is such a relief."

"We should go," she said, pulling away a pace and smiling at him. "Don't you think?"

He held his right hand out to her, fingers spread. She laced her own fingers into his hand, clasping their palms together.

"Chakotay." The low, husky tone that had always entranced and soothed.

"Kathryn." The soft, reverent whisper that had forever supported and enticed.

The forest dissolved around them, slowly filtering into a pleasant light that seemed to come from nowhere and everywhere.

=/\=

The Doctor looked out at the crowd with difficulty. It was a vast sea of mourners, many in uniform. As for himself, he was not. Kathryn and Chakotay had not served Starfleet nor the Federation professionally in nearly thirty years. And they had had a life beyond the one that the majority of these people knew. He focused on the front rows. These people were different. They were _Voyagers_. They were here to mourn for family, just as he was. When he finally spoke, it was them he spoke to.

"I have known Admiral Kathryn Janeway and Ambassador Chakotay for my entire existence. I understand that many people here will grieve for them as the Admiral and the Ambassador, but I will grieve for them as Kathryn and Chakotay.

"I have known them when they were happy, when they were saddened, when they were angry. I have seen them at their best and worst. I have seen them form an unstoppable barrier between danger and their family, and have subsequently pitied anyone who dared test that barrier. I have seen that barrier crumble and watched them fight with actions and words that cut the other to the quick. I have seen them patch their friendship back together after it was in tatters. I saw them step together into that frightening space between friendship and romance, and learn that marriage suited them.

"I have watched them support each other through battles, political differences, and insufferable diplomatic conferences. I have seen them tend their dozens of surrogate grandchildren and spoil them. I have seen them watch over their family and crew many years after other command teams would have forgotten the names of all but the senior staff.

"I watched as Kathryn convinced Chakotay it was a good idea to have a dog. I have seen Chakotay fall in love with that dog and take her running every morning for five years. I watched Chakotay convince Kathryn that he could build them a house. I saw Kathryn help him build that house, and then ask all their old friends to help them move. I have seen them taking walks, feeding geese, teaching classes, solving unsolvable situations, and I have watched them grow old together.

"And…and I have never seen two people more committed to each other than they. They have had more thrown at their relationship than many other couples, and of course they have faltered. But they never abandoned the other. They always forgave, they always trusted, they always believed, and always supported. From the first days I knew them, Kathryn would never abandon Chakotay, and Chakotay would always go running back for Kathryn. That never changed, and they always made it through things together. As a team. As best friends. As lovers. As spouses.

"When I received the call that they had passed on, I was deeply saddened. When I arrived at their home in my professional capacity as their physician, my analysis showed something that I had heard of before, but never quite believed. Many of you know that they died the same evening. What you don't know is that Kathryn passed away first. She was asleep in her bed, in a REM state. I don't know where the things that we call souls go after death, but I know that if such another place exists – and I personally believe it does – Kathryn Janeway didn't have one second of alarm in passing from this plane to the next.

"Chakotay was not asleep. He had a heart attack. It is my professional diagnosis that he found his wife was gone, and that his heart quite literally broke. Not ten minutes passed between the time that Kathryn passed on and Chakotay followed.

"Kathryn Janeway died a peaceful and quiet death after a full and tumultuous life. Chakotay's heart broke to be apart from her, and he followed one step after, just as he always has. Always a step behind her on the bridge, in the corridor, or at a conference.

"But here's the thing. On walks around the Academy grounds, or their garden, or anywhere else, they walked side by side, hand in hand. I don't know if any of you ever noticed the way they held each other's hand. With fingers threaded and palms pressed together. Kathryn told my wife once that that was the way they had held hands the first time. She said it at once gave her butterflies and made her feel safe. They were holding hands like that when I arrived that morning. They never let go. And I am glad, and I am sure that you all are as well, that they never did.

-END-

A/N: Chronologically speaking, this is the end. However, I am not going to mark the story as complete, because I am reserving the right to add on whatever happy little stories that pop into my head whilst trying to write my thesis. Thank you all for reading and reviewing! Reviews totally make my day 20x better.


End file.
